Naruto was awake early in this morning after a night of less sleep. He stood up and went into his bathroom and looked into the mirror. Dark rings were pierced under his eyes and he looked a lil pale. Then he saw Sasuke right in front of his inner self. “I love you”, the raven whispered with his smile.
This picture was chasing Naruto the whole night. “Damn fucking Sasuke, with his damn fucking love!”, the blond clenched the border of the sink. “Why did he have to say this to me?”, he looked up and tried to wash the rings away with a splash of icy water. It didn’t help. Nothing helped him now.
He was confused, angry, in pain and shocked all at the same time. He closed his eyes and again the picture if a Sasuke looking at him with eyes filled with emotions popped up into his mind.
The blond went into the class room early. He had had no appetite to eat breakfast so he just skipped it and went to school straight. He got to the place he usually used to sit and hesitated for a moment. Then he took the chair and sat down.
He was unpacking his things quickly and began to scribble some of his naive stickmen he used to draw. He heard someone step into the room and stop at the door. Naruto turned around but he wished he hadn’t.
Sasuke was standing there, his books under his arm, looking at him. The raven looked even more terrible than Naruto did. His face was paler than usual, like he was cold. His eyes were encircled with a darker color of insomnia and the white into them was puffy and red.
The raven looked at him and Naruto felt a weight getting on his stomach. He turned around and concentrated back on his drawings.
As the raven haired boy passed by and didn’t sit down next to him like he used to Naruto had to look up. Sasuke took a seat a few ranks in front of him. Naruto felt sick but also light. ‘Lucky I don’t have to speak to him… right now’, the blond turned back to his scribbling and the first time in his entire life he couldn’t wait for the class to begin.
As the reading began he always looked down on his papers or to the teacher. Once he found himself peeking at Sasuke and he saw that the raven didn’t listen and take notes as usual. He was sitting on his chair, had one foot bedded on his chair and his chin on the knee. The raven just sat there the whole lesson and looked at Naruto.
As the blond noticed that Sasuke stared at him the whole time, he blushed and now he couldn’t concentrate on anything. ‘Why me? Why THE HELL me?’.
As class was over, Naruto just tried to get out of class as fast as he could. He ran over the grounds and got stopped by someone taking hold of his arm from behind.
He turned and saw two dark eyes looking down on him. “Naruto…let me explain I…” “What the hell is there to explain Sasuke? You’re fucking gay and you’re fucking in love with me. I thought I was your best friend and we would tell each other anything!”, the blond yelled at him and withdraw his arm out of Sasukes grip.
“Naruto. I wanted to tell you. I wanted to tell you so bad! But I ..” “Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you just tell me?! I feel really used by you” “Naruto. I was so afraid about how you would react. I was afraid that you would…well, that you exactly reacted like this”, the black haired tried to explain.
Naruto snorted and looked at him with a disgusted face. “Naruto. I love you, but that changes nothing…we’re still friends”, the raven looked at him. His eyes were filled with emotions again.
“What if…” “What Naruto…please tell me what?” “What if I don’t want to be your friend anymore?”, the blond looked at Sasuke with a serious face. The raven gazed at him with a shocked expression. “Wh..what did you just say?”, the raven whispered with a broken voice. “You heard me exactly. I don’t want to be friends with you at the time. I’m confused about so many things you did and said just into the last two days”
Naruto looked at him and he was afraid if the brave Uchiha’s going to slap him just at the next time. But what happened then was surprising the blond man even more. The raven didn’t do anything. They just stood there for minutes and Sasuke looked at the floor. After a while he lifted his head. He had his mouth forced to a smile and looked at Naruto with watery eyes. “Fine then”, the raven whispered.
He rushed to get passed Naruto, who could hear a sob as Sasuke passed him by. Suddenly he felt something missing. A strange hole deep into his stomach, and not just because he didn’t eat any breakfast.
‘Was that right?’
The next two days Naruto couldn’t get a straight thought. Even as he tried to concentrate on a movie or a school book he couldn’t. He got chased by so many pictures. Pictures of Sasuke. Sasuke smiling. Sasuke crying. Sasuke angry. Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke… One of this pictures was the worst of all. The view of Sasuke when he was hurt.
Every time Naruto saw it his heart ached and he felt sick. One night he woke up sweating and nearly screaming because of how much this picture hurt him. “Why?”, he said slowly panting, still getting chased of those hurt, deep eyes. He got up and went to his sofa. He let himself plopping down hard on it and turned the TV on.
There was some stupid talk show running and he just sat there the whole night, barley watching, always thinking about… Sasuke…
“Hey Shika, can I ask you something?”, the blond asked the spiky ponytailed man as they sat next to each other at lunch the next day. “Sure”, the other man grunted and looked at him. “What’s it?” “Well… It’s a little embarrassing, but well..” “Come on, just ask me”, he said to the distressed looking blond.
“You and Temari, you’re together for a while now and I wanted to ask…Well, how did you feel… I mean, how did you know you love her?”, the blond turned blushed and looked at his friend who gazed at him with his annoyed attitude.
“Well, that’s quiet personal, but… How do you feel when you are in love…”, the brown haired man stared into the air for some minutes and then turned to Naruto again. “It’s almost like how you feel when you’re sick”, he responded. Naruto looked at him confused. “Sick?”, the blond asked and lifted his eyebrows.
“Yep. Sick. You can’t eat anything. You can’t sleep. You can’t concentrate on anything. You just keep thinking about this person and you don’t know why. You just feel the urge to be with this person and make her happy”, he answered straight away.
“Aha..okay. Thanks. Well but what if this person told you that he loved you and you just don’t know what you feel anymore?”, the blond asked along. “You’re talking about Sasuke, right?”, Naruto blushed deeply and looked at Shikamaru in a stunned way. “How did you know?”, he whispered stuttering.
“First of all you said that HE said that HE loved you and that means it must be a man. Secondly, I see how he looks at you”, Shika ascertained simply. “What do you mean, how he looks at me?”. Shika took a gulp of his glass water and looked back at the blushed blond. “Well, he never shows any emotion to anyone, except when he looks at you. There are so many emotions that you can read into his look. Possession, anxiety, fear, but most of all love”, he said dryly and saw that the blond blushed harder and looked down.
“But that’s not the point right? What about how you feel? Do you love him?”, Shika asked Naruto. “I don’t know. Shika, I really don’t know. I just feel that I miss him so much. I need him. I got to match my feelings and I just don’t know”
In the evening Naruto was sitting on his bed and thought about everything Shika said today to him. ‘I see how he looks at you… Possession, anxiety, fear…love’, Shikamarus voice was running thru the blonds mind. ‘Love… Do you love him?... What about how you feel? Yes, what about what I feel?I love you’, the ravens voice popped up in Narutos mind and suddenly he felt hurt.
“I miss you…Sasuke… I really miss you”, the blond sobbed and looked at a picture next to his bed. It was made in high school. On the picture was a tanned, blond boy who carried a pale, dark-haired boy piggyback. The boys were laughing and just seemed happy together. Naruto had to smile.
He looked at Sasukes smiling face. His eyes were little dark slits and his nose was wrinkled from laughing. His black bangs hung down in his face and he hugged the blond tightly around his neck. Naruto felt how his heart made a jump while he looked at him.
Then suddenly he wanted Sasuke to hug him like on the picture, to hug him and never, ever let go.’ . Sick. You can’t eat anything. You can’t sleep. You can’t concentrate on anything. You just keep thinking about this person and you don’t know why. You just feel the urge to be with this person and make her happy’ “I gotta go to him. I gotta see him, gotta explain that I miss him, that I’m sorry, that I need him…that I…love him?”, the blond looked at himself into a mirror and he gripped his jacket. “Yes! I love you Sasuke, do you hear me? I’m coming to get you, only you…”, the blond stepped out into the night and made his was over the campus.
Naruto reached the corner of the campus. In about three minutes he would be into Sasukes apartment and tell him everything. But it seemed it shouldn’t have been like this later.
‘Pretty dark here, the streetlamp must have broken lately’, Naruto thought as he walked out of the lightened street into the small, dark parkway.
He couldn’t see anything in addition the moon wasn’t shining thru the clouds and just walked along the well known way. Suddenly he felt himself walking into something hard and he fell down on his back. He stood up quickly and figured out another person lying on the floor in front of him.
“Oh shit. I’m so sorry, are you ok? Sorry, I didn’t look out, I was in thoughts and I nearly can’t see anything”, he helped the other person to stand up and looked at him. It was a man, he was a big exemplar of one, more he couldn’t figure out, it was too dark.
“Is everything ok?”, he asked me in a quiet, deep voice. “Yup”, I said smiling. The other man seemed to be ok, so Naruto just wanted to pass him, as the other one called:”Wait!”. The blond turned around and the other ‘Dude’ was just standing right in front of him. “Yeah?”, the tanned man asked insecure.
“You look cute”, the other man stepped closer. “Err…thanks”, Naruto said and took a step backwards. “Sorry but I gotta go I’m busy”, the other guy was scaring the blond and he just wanted to go to Sasuke right now.
Just as he wanted to turn around again, he felt a strong had gripping his arm. Naruto looked at the ’Dude’ shocked. “Don’t grip me”, Naruto whispered. “Oh, don’t you like me holding you? What do you wanna do against this?”, the other man smiled, pulled Naruto closer and grabbed his butt. Naruto tried to slap the other man, but the Dude took hold of his hands and the blond couldn’t do anything.
The Dude was too strong for him. “Let me go”, Naruto said calmly, but slowly he began to panic. The tall man grabbed him again and began to stroke over his hips. “Why should I?”, the man looked down at him and pushed his lips on the blond ones.
He forced his tongue thru Narutos mouth and began ravishing the blonds mouth. The blond was totally in panic and bit down on the other mans tongue.
“Let me go!”, the blond cried out and he felt cold tears rolling down his cheeks. Just for a moment the Dude seemed shocked because Naruto bit him, but then he realized everything again and he slapped the blond.
Naruto fell onto the dirty ground next to a tree and he shivered. “I wanted to make it easy for you, but you don’t seem to like it that way”,the Dude hissed slowly and got down on his knees.
Narutos blue eyes widened in fear as the tall guy gripped his hips and turned him around.Naruto was on his knees now, and he felt how he got sick. ‘Wha..What is happening here?’, his mind seemed blank and he didn’t realize that he was shivering.
“Please…”, Narutos voice came out in a fearful whisper. He felt the Dude pushing him down and griping his pants. With one hard grip his pants including his boxers fell down to his knees.Then he heard a small rustling noise behind him. He couldn’t move an inch. He was lying there on his knees, his face in the wet dirt and he was just to shocked of what was going on right now.
He felt a sickness growing in his stomach, as the Dude gripped his hips again. “No, please…don’t”.Then he felt it, a sharp pain was running thru his entrance up to his spine and his whole body tensed up immediately. He wanted to scream, he tried to scream but there was nothing coming out of his mouth.
Just his mind, it screamed, made him headache, he had to cry. Thick tears were rolling down his cheeks. “Hnn, you’re pretty tight cutie… I like it that way”, the Dude panted out these words before he started to move.
The blond tensed up even more. Every inch of his body was screaming in pain but his mind felt numb. Everything got blurred and he tried to scream, scream for help, scream for shock but most of all scream of all the pain.
The Dude rocked his hips against Narutos butt over and over again, the blond was thinking the dude was getting deeper and deeper at every thrust. Suddenly the blonds muscles clenched and everything was hurting even more.
The other guy grunted and panted and it was disgusting Naruto even more. His knees got heavy but he couldn’t move an inch. Then a picture of Sasuke came into his mind and he turned his head so his face was into the dirt now, so his sobs got drowned and he hadn’t got to listen to himself and his pain.
He still wasn’t able to scream out. As much the pain grew stronger, his mind got dizzier and he thought he was fainting within the next few seconds. He hoped that he was going to faint, then he wouldn’t notice all the pain anymore but he didn’t.
Still the pain was getting worse and after what seemed like days the Dude came deep into Naruto. His hot cum was alluring the sore entrance even more.
The Dude pulled out of Naruto, closed his pants and pulled the one of Naruto up. Naruto fell to his side and he saw how the man was standing in front of him. Then the Dude turned and left him down on the floor.
Naruto just felt all the pain rushing thru his body and his sight got blurred even more. Suddenly he heard something strange thru the silence into the park. The sound didn’t fit into this peaceful silence. It took Naruto several minutes to figure out that he made these noisy sounds. He was sobbing and whimpering in shock.
He began to feel numb, his whole body turned from pain to numbness. He didn’t feel himself shudder, he didn’t feel his tears anymore, he didn’t feel the pain and his sobs. He also didn’t notice the dirty floor he was lying on, or the cold breeze which was running thru his hair. There was just one thing he thought about before he got knocked out of this painful numbness. He got the picture of Sasuke in his mind.
“I love you”, he slowly whispered, but no one heard it.
Here you can find my textes which are forbidden on deviantart.com for the underaged to read because of sexual themes, but I don't think thy're to bad for my watchers,...x3